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I'm the sort of person that is a stayer. I commit myself to doing something and then like a terrier, I never let that go until it goes against every fibre of my being.
So the hardest decision in my life was to sack the man I loved and lived with for 23 years and give up on our relationship.
I walked away from our joint business, the roof over my head and no money with finances tied up in joint bank accounts. No job, nowhere to live, and no idea what that looked like except I needed to get back my sanity, find a safe place to regroup, and get my head in the right frame of mind.
My saving grace was my youngest daughter who practically pushed me into leaving. Things had become horrible for both of us and we needed to get out of harm's way. My friends all made the comments " Good on you! But you should have done that years ago." Yes, I should have but back then I didn't have the courage to do that either.
You see - I had an alcohol problem. As my partner would say to me " He didn't have a problem with alcohol, I did". I had tried everything over the past 10 years to work out what was causing the problem and the only thing I had left was that it might have been me. You see I did take advantage of being the only sober one in the relationship and I have regrets for some of the things that I did but it works both ways unless ...... the other half of the partnership wasn't interested in trying.
So there are no regrets. Over the 23 years we were together we had 3 amazing children, wonderful times, travel, lots of laughs, sometimes heartache and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I still love him dearly as part of my family, my past, and my life but I will never regret the decision that changed my world. I can understand how hard it is when other women are faced with the same scenario because it's bloody hard and you have to become courageous, be so brave, and put your chin up high to face the future.
Now I'm free to live my life on my own terms and I love the freedom that allows me.
Well done Lou!!!